Not my Circus ~ Not my Monkey

Life can come at us hard and it can come at the most unexpected of times. How we manage these curve balls is what will empower us to successfully move thru them.

Having a corporate career doesn’t mean you encounter more of the lion’s share of challenges. Being a SAHM isn’t indicative of having a luxurious laid back day. Each of us encounters situations that challenge us to the core. How you determine your response tells you how successful you will be.

Let’Not your circus? Coach Karen Ks look at an example: Mary works part-time, her spouse works full time and she has two children in the teenage years; both whom are active in sports and extracurricular activities at school.

For Mary what she may determine as a crisis is completely different than what her spouse would as well as her children. Not being able to find the hair dryer in the morning for her daughter turns from a frustration into a crisis based on the peanut gallery comment from her sibling. Her crisis then spills over into an emotional frustration for Mary as her daughter verbally takes is out on her. The emotional response is what will set the tone for Mary’s day and those she interacts with. During the onset Mary brushes off the frustration with reminding herself of the Polish “Not my circus, not my monkey” quote. For now she believes she has let it go. The rest of her continues with few interruptions.

A few days later there is an incident at work and Mary is quick to get agitated and responds with a more passive/aggressive approach than normal. Again, the “Not my monkey” approach is used. The notion of letting go of the incident is put into place.

The next week, Mary’s spouse make a comment that doesn’t sit well with her and she responds with a verbal outburst that is less than kind.

Is this sounding at all familiar?

This happens more than we care to admit. The delayed response to an incident that happened. The link between the three situations is that Mary believes she has “let it go” but in fact, all she has done is bury it underneath the guise of a current, trending mantra.

The key to moving through a crisis, whether or not you are directly involved is meeting it head on. Addressing it in a neutral state of emotion, being authentic and assertive. And when I say head on, it doesn’t mean getting all dramatic in the face of the individual who may have triggered it for you. It means, addressing it with yourself and yes in some circumstances it does mean facing it head on with an individual who was the trigger. An in the instance it means you are in control of your physical and emotional states. And if not, then wait until you are or the outcome will be less than desired and quite possibly have the exact opposite effect.

Knowing you’ve been triggered, dealing with it in a healthy manner are your goals. Using the counting rule to ensure you’ve calmed yourself down is a great approach. Using a neutral tone to express how you feel to the other individual is another. Providing yourself with space and time before having a difficult conversation – personally or professional is another great guideline to follow.

Mental Meltdown ~ Let Coach Karen K help you move thru itWhen someone else is negatively impacting your life via drama which turns into an emotional crisis how will you know the next time? How will you react? How will you deal and move thru it positively and permanently?

Acting out of character becomes conscious clue for you to remedy the situation. Your goal is to do more than just bury the emotion ~ you need to identify, acknowledge and resolve it before it comes back to bite you in the ass.

Need support in moving thru a personal or professional change? Dealing with challenges at work? I’m here to support you and you achieving your goals in life and business.

Coach Karen K

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